Practical v Imaginative
Some personalities are more practical than others. You will find them reading autobiographies and watching “real life” documentaries. Labyrinth, The Never-Ending Story, Lord of the Rings, even Game of Thrones is simply not their thing. Fantasy is make-believe to them and not so useful. Other personalities are more naturally inclined towards the world of imagination.
My primary school reports said I was a day-dreamer. My Maths teacher would throw pieces of chalk in my general direction if he caught me looking wistfully out of the window. My elders described me as having a vivid imagination. This was a nice way of saying I told outrageous stories about bears eating babies. I was told repeatedly that I had my head in the clouds which was another way of saying that I should lower my expectations and come back to the so-called real world. I am not surprised that my path has led me to deeply interrogate the nature of reality. What is real? How do we know what we know? Are their multiple realities? How do we create our future or desired reality and shape our current reality? These are questions I love to ask.
Functional Dysfunctional Fantasy
Last Sunday, in our 9th consecutive Alive Wire Wisdom Circle, we explored the following premise: there is wisdom in distinguishing or discerning fantasy from reality. It was a great gathering.
Let’s look at fantasy from a number of perspectives.
Positive or functional fantasy opens us up to a world of possibility and realms of potentiality. It engages the imagination. It garners hope and optimism. It is essential to creativity.
However, if there is no action, fantasy can also be a hindrance to creativity. A person can have the most brilliant idea, concept or design but if it is never translated into form it remains just that – a great idea. Visionaries have ideas that don’t occur to the rest of us mere mortals. But without creative structures and daily action, even gifted ideas can remain floating around the Mists of Avalon, like a phantom pregnancy.
The Gift and the Shadow
Fantasy has two-faces. The Gift is the face of fantasy that wow’s the world. This is the ability to access the imagination and create something out of nothing. This fantasy is fresh, new and alive. In some cases, it appears almost as magic – rabbit out of the hat stuff.
The Shadow side of fantasy is that it divorces us from reality. To this end, fantasy is a form of resistance. It is the very thing that interferes with us creating.
Do you have dreams that are just this: dreams?
If you are anything like me, you probably have incomplete projects littering your sidewalk. The degree to which these projects are in an “area of challenge” and the degree to which these projects are truly putting your heart on the line is the degree to which these projects fall prey to fantasy. The cost of completing is too high.
To land anything from the world of fantasy to the world of reality takes hard work, focus, radical honesty and huge amounts of healthy self-esteem. It requires unfixing the fixed, finding the vision, and then fixing it again: bedding it down, making it real, shaping it and shipping it.
When we fantasize about our potential and all that “could be”, we never collapse the quantum possibilities. This dysfunctional fantasy interferes with our ability to be and create in the world. We keep putting our creations off. One day the timing will be right. One day, I will do it. When I have more time, more money, more experience. But that day doesn’t come. The goal posts keep changing. That’s fantasy football for you!
We have to go through a threshold on our journey. Multiple thresholds, actually. If we don’t stand our ground, face our fears and meet our edge, we will stall. And with every stalled project another self-fulfilling prophesy leads to greater disillusionment. More fantasy. More failure.
Cycle of Shame
You can see the problem, right, dysfunctional fantasy can keep us locked in a cycle of shame. When we are living in a world of wishful or “one day” thinking, we lack discipline and vigour. We are sensitive, reactive and takes things personally. We listen to the naysayers. We make excuses and create dramas. We don’t show up or put in the practice and therefore we don’t develop the skills we need to really succeed and overcome the hurdles. We don’t test our capacity. We may have the potential but our skills remain latent. As a result, we don’t give ourselves the applause we need to keep going. We don’t endow our efforts with legitimacy or value. We are not honest. We stay stuck in a fantasy.
Psychological Perspective
From a psychological perspective, fantasy is a self-protective defense mechanism. When reality or the past is too painful to bear, fantasy can become a way of coping. Fantasy looks like disassociation, numbing or spacing out. When this becomes delusional or interferes with the ability to function in the world, help is sort.
Mythical Perspective
From a mythical perspective, our internal shadow archetypes love fantasy. They live for it. Fantasy fucks things up. The Trickster, the Illusionist, the Victim, the Sabateur, the Inner Critic all love fantasy. These aspects of ourselves want to protect us from going for what we love and going beyond the limits our Ego has put in place. Fantasy is a fantastic form of resistance.
Make Action your Ally
The answer is to treat fantasy as you would any area of resistance. Dream big AND get real. When you fail, get back on your bike and keep showing up. Move into action – consistent daily right action – even when you are scared to bits. Treat your projects with love. Commit to nothing less than 100% responsibility. Develop the skills. Be patient and don’t forget to have fun!
